SELF-AWARENESS
What it is, internal vs external, benefits, ways to get it
Most people run on autopilot unaware of their thoughts and actions and blind to the impact they might have. In fact, most people think they know themselves and how they come across to others, and the revelation that others see and experience them differently comes as a surprise to them.
This supports research data published by Tasha Eurich, that indicates that while a resounding 95% of people believe they have self-awareness that the actual percentage is between 12 – 15%.
This begs the question then on what self-awareness is, how we can develop it and the benefits of spending the time developing it.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is an essential soft skill that directly impacts your personal and professional experiences. It refers to a person’s capability to see themselves clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection.
This self-evaluation, if done objectively, will identify whether a person is in congruence with their internal values, guiding principles and standards or whether they are behaving in a way that they feel obligated to.
When individuals develop self-awareness through self-evaluation, they develop a deeper resonance with why they feel what they feel and why they behave in a particular way. This self-knowledge is important to self-development; it is impossible to develop into a future self without the awareness of the current strengths and weaknesses and way of being.
Two Sides of Self-Awareness
Before embarking on a journey towards increased self-awareness it is important to note that there are two parts to self-awareness: internal and external and, that these are independent of the other. This is probably why so many people feel that they have self-awareness yet respond with surprise when receiving feedback from others.
Internal self-awareness refers to self-knowledge of your values, personality strengths and weaknesses while, external self-awareness refers to knowing how you impact other people and how they view you.
Evidence suggests that a high correspondence between the two equates to authentic leadership engagements and productive working relationships. Developing a harmonious relationship between the two parts requires questioning the assumptions you have of yourself and requesting feedback from others.
How to Build Self-Awareness
Enhancing self-awareness is both a courageous and uncomfortable path to undertake. It calls for openness to vulnerability and, humility in the acceptance of those aspects of ourselves that do not fit the preconceived notion we have in our heads. For many of us the stakes are high but the pay-off in leadership capability exceeds this, making it a worthwhile endeavour.
Developing self-awareness can be done in many ways and most leaders who have embarked on this road recommend using a few methods to build and sustain. By far, the biggest endorsement lies in identifying the discrepancy between the two sides of self-awareness and then working to minimise the gap. There are a range of practices that can be used to reduce the distance between internal and external self-awareness. To build and sustain, it is recommended that more than one approach is used simultaneously:
- Introspection – There are a variety of ways to approach this but mostly this practice consists of being able to ponder on thoughts and or feelings in relation to behaviours, values and principles. Importantly here notice feelings of congruency and incongruency and where improvements can be made
- Reflection – Journaling may be a worthwhile consideration as it further narrows the focus and allows for the discovery of thread insights such as: what works for you or does not, what is importance to you or what you do not want, things that you may miss through justification when introspecting.
- Engaging regularly with feedback from external people in the work environment
- Practice mindfulness in paying attention to the present or meditating
- Coaching or selecting a self-awareness partner
- Take psychometric tests or online tests.
Benefits
There are countless benefits to building self-awareness. Most importantly self-awareness presents a solid foundation for improving interpersonal relationships by facilitating better communication. It functions to build self-confidence, encourages self-development and leads to better decision making.
Seeing matters from the perspective of others, knowing ourselves from the inside out and the outside in allows for greater creative and productive work while encouraging the development of enduring relationships.
As already mentioned, the stakes may seem high but the payoff is tenfold. Self-awareness as an essential skill is a practice that can be used anywhere, at any moment and will almost always enhance every experience you have.